ADHD is a condition that affects millions of individuals globally and often carries with it a substantial personal burden of embarrassment or stigma in spite of its commonness. This prejudice comes about due to many uninformed perceptions about it. However in recent years increased awareness has led to significant development in acceptance and understanding by society today; at the same time it has been paralleled by a surge in uninformed debates from the nay-sayers, the experts-on-everything, the never-wrong.
The Origins of Stigma
The stigma that connects to ADHD largely sets on at a young age. Doing simple assignments can feel like torture for kids with ADHD as opposed to their counterparts, they may be much better than their counterparts in more creative and expressive ways, but the rigidity of education does not allow for this. A lot of times, they’re called out for this. Maybe they just may not be able to keep still, again, called out for it. Maybe they feel they are trying as hard as they possibly can, but keep being told they should be doing better.
These negative experiences can develop into feelings of shame and inadequacy that persist into adulthood.
The Impact on Adults
For adults, the stigma of ADHD often persists and manifests in the workplace and in social settings. Many adults with ADHD face challenges in maintaining consistent performance, adhering to routines, and managing time effectively. These difficulties can be misinterpreted as a lack of effort or competence, in reality, they are probably trying harder than anyone, leading to further stigmatisation. The fear of being perceived as unreliable or incapable often results in individuals with ADHD hiding their struggles such as masking themselves, over-committing or adopting people-pleasing tendencies, which only exacerbates their feelings of isolation and shame.
Misconceptions and Internet Experts
The idea that ADHD is not a genuine condition, or that it’s overly diagnosed, is one of the most harmful misconceptions surrounding ADHD. Personally, even I started by buy into this version of events a few years into my diagnosis after struggling to manage things.
Some people believe that ADHD is simply an excuse for poor behaviour or a moral-failing, that we must simply "set a reminder" and get things done. This can be seen in dismissive attitudes from employers, colleagues, and even healthcare professionals. Such attitudes can prevent individuals from seeking or receiving the support and treatment they need.
It seems there is an ever-increasing "movement" of nay-sayers in certain parts of the media and "influencers" who seem to have gained an expert insight into ADHD that somehow the scientific community has missed.
On top of their seemingly expert opinion on every single geopolitical and medical issue in the world, they tell us that ADHD is an excuse, that people are using it as such and it is simply a label to either seek to avoid responsibility or to get "high" on the drugs that treat it.
I have met and now worked with many people with ADHD, not one of which exhibits "laziness". What sort of "lazy" leads to people constantly questioning everything they do, to work harder than almost anyone else to try get things done, but ultimately often fall short. This cycle of trying and failing constantly churning away at their confidence, but they keep pushing ahead regardless. This is "lazy"?
ADHD is one of the most well researched mental health conditions in the world, it is also the most treatable condition in psychiatry. Tragically, people are not getting access to this treatment for a myriad of reasons, one of them is the shame of asking for help, worrying what others will think of them.
The Psychological Toll
The burden and sense of judgement from others, weather based in reality or not, can have a profound psychological impact. Constantly feeling misunderstood and judged for years leads hurts. It can lead to low self-esteem and very often adults diagnosed with ADHD also have developed another condition. Suddenly, it's not just ADHD anymore, it's turned into something else that meets the criteria for another disorder: depression, generalised anxiety, or more.
Individuals with ADHD often internalise the negative perceptions of others, leading to a distorted self-image. This shame and stigma can hinder their ability to advocate for themselves and seek the accommodations or interventions that could help them thrive.
Breaking the Cycle
Addressing the stigma and shame of ADHD requires a multifaceted approach. Education is key. Increasing understanding and recent advocacy of ADHD can help to dispel some myths and change perceptions for those genuinely interested to know more. It is important that schools, workplaces, and healthcare providers understand the realities of ADHD and to provide reasonable support. It is clear that this is not the current status-quo.
Support networks also play a vital role. Connecting with others who have ADHD can reduce feelings of isolation. ADHD treatments including therapy, CBT and/or coaching can help individuals develop strategies to manage their symptoms and build self-esteem.
Ultimately, combating the shame and stigma of ADHD requires empathy and understanding. Recognising that ADHD is a legitimate, neurodevelopmental disorder, and not a moral failing, is needed. By fostering a more accepting and supportive environment, we can help those with ADHD to lead fuller, more confident lives. Easier said than done, I know.
A plea
We agree, much of what we experience just sounds so ridiculous, those of us with ADHD know this more than anyone. Believe me, we want the answers to these problems more than you do. We don't want to make it an excuse, but it feels like we're often misunderstood, that our condition is seen as trivial and not really that serious. When people, often well meaning say "well I am like that too sometimes" and "have you tried using a task-manager", we can often sense that nobody understands the true nature and scale of what ADHD is doing to us. Ultimately, we know what to do, but maddeningly, we can't build the bridge to get it done. Yes, this might annoy you, but if often torments us.
ADHD isn't a failure of adopting a system, it's not something that manifests "occasionally". It is an ever-present and impairing difference in how we experience and activate to the world around us, we can't keep up with what is expected and needed to live in modern times.
We've spent our whole life trying to fit in and "work" properly. We don't understand why we have such intense emotions at times on top of the inability to regulate our attention and behaviour. It is not some fleeting thing with us, we are permanently and constantly trying to move ahead with these challenges, which can seem to completely change from one hour to the next. We are more confused than you are.
We know that much of how our condition presents sounds ridiculous, such our our inability to sense time passing like you do. We can often also do things easily that most people cannot, but don't get the opportunity often to operate in our own way.
We know and agree that it's infuriating that we can't "just do" the simple things we should do. We often just can't find the right words and language to explain ourselves, we feel shame that we constantly fail but we try constantly to "fix" ourselves.
We just want acceptance and answers, to finally get to a place where we can trust ourselves and be liberated of the burden of trying to fit-in to suit others. We can adapt, we can improve, but we are unlikely to if we continue to be rejected for who we are.
Remember, ADHD is very treatable, but if left unchecked, it can have a profoundly negative impact on a person and society in general.
